Sestina

Oct. 1990

Though I always say, "I tease
only when I really care,"
explaining why I tickle-touch
in serious jest, playing too rough,
leaving you mussed and tense -
I suspect you think I have no heart.

But if you could see what's in my heart
you'd understand why I always tease,
trying to bottle up what's too intense.
You see, although I truly care,
I can explain playing rough
but not a tenderer touch.

For if I reached out to touch
you so, then would my heart
be vulnerable to unknown rough
ness. No, I can only tease,
fighting ot hide that I care.
Different reasons, but we're both tense.

Do you ever guess how I'm thrilled but tense
every time my hands touch
your skin? If you knew how I care,
how hard and fast beats my heart,
leaping in my chest - yes, to tease
may for me be far less rough.

For what to me would be truly rough
the fate that leaves me scared and tense
is if you should see through the outward tease.
Then could you, with a single touch
of fire, strike out and break my heart,
either angrily, or even care-

lessly. I must be so very care-
ful, not to give up on my rough
facade, never to expose my heart.
For now, I must leave us both tense.
Oh, if you only knew how touch-
starved I feel! For me it's no tease.

I wish my heart need not be tense,
nor roughly tease, that I could show how I care -
Reach out to me, and touch!

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